Our EasyJet flight to England was set to take off at 8pm. See where I’m going with this yet? Well, we were informed that it was delayed for an hour. So we were stuck waiting in the airport. The kids played. And mommy and daddy drank. Then the flight got delayed another hour. So we continued with our aforementioned activities. Only this time with complimentary vouchers to the airport canteen. Then another delay. Repeat the repetition. Then, after three successive one-hour delays, they told us our 8pm flight would be leaving at 1am. And they gave us more vouchers. The kids were wrecked. So were mommy and daddy. And then I remembered our rental car waiting for us on the other side. Would the rental car attendee be willing to wait until 3am to give us our car or would we be SOL on arrival. Merry merry.

At half-past midnight, we were told that our (decrepit) plane should be arriving within the hour. The (unfortunate) car hire attendee had called me and graciously given me her personal number so that, when we landed at 3am, we could call her and she would drive the five miles from her house to the airport to give us the keys to our car. Thanks, Ali!!! And then we had the hour+ drive to the in-laws to look forward to. Fun! Thank goodness we were all still jet lagged from the return flight from the US just the day before.

Well, the plane finally arrived in Barcelona and dutifully delivered us to sleepy Stanstead. Ali met us with the keys to the rental car – a brand new red Alfa Romeo Giulietta – and we made it safely (and swiftly) back to grandma and granddad’s by 5am, where we all slept soundly till noon.

We’re still jet lagged, but everyone is now comfy and warm and enjoying some scrumptious home-cooked food. And I’m thoroughly enjoying the Alfa Romeo. Happy holidays, everyone. And thanks for your concern and good wishes 🙂

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the December solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all… and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Family, yes. Sunshine, of course. Free babysitters, that’s a no-brainer. I was looking forward to many things before we set sail on our trip to Florida, but what I was most looking forward to was upgrading our children. Travel has a fascinating effect on children. Pretty much any time you expose kids to new situations outside of their comfort zone and force them to adapt and think in new and unfamiliar ways, you get all these new synapses firing inside of their tiny brains and new neural connections are formed and they start thinking and talking and acting in completely new ways as enormous developmental milestones are smashed. Basically, they level-up. We had seen this with Emily after every single trip we took with her to England and the US and I couldn’t wait to see the new light bulbs exploding over both her and Sebastian’s heads this time. And I wasn’t let down. For better or worse, we now have shiny new kids, barely resembling the ones we left with just three weeks ago. Cool.

Monkeys at the Zoo

We’re back in Barcelona now after spending the better part of a month in the Sunshine State. We overcame the jet lag in the predictable amount of time. That was rough. The massive family get-together (for Chanukah?) went down without a hitch. And then everyone hightailed it out of town. So we drove north to Tampa (Lutz?) to visit my dad and sister.

Tampa day trip #1: Museum of Science and Industry
General impression: a ghetto-yet-enjoyable version of the incomparable CosmoCaixa. Buy-one-get-one-free coupons: thanks, dad!
High point: all the hands-on activities in the Kids In Charge! center: weight compensated tug-o-war, lying on a bed of nails, making a stop-motion video, etc.
Low point: their Disasterville! is a disaster, and the fact that four out of five of every installation was in one way or another broken.

Tampa day trip #2: Lowry Park Zoo
General impression: the best zoo I’ve ever been to, with tons of great activities for kids. Free guest passes: thanks, Amanda!
High point: watching the kids wear silly green helmets while they rode ponies, and riding a roller coaster with Sebastian (Emily was too scared).
Low point: the safari tour sucked. Couldn’t understand the guide, didn’t get as close to the animals as I’d hoped, and the fumes from the head car were noxious.

Our final week in Florida had us revisiting the joys of poolside living, sneaking onto the private beach of a luxury hotel, marveling at unnecessarily ornate Christmas lights, being peed on by a wild turtle, battling fleas and eye infections, and avoiding the annual bout of familial plague. Good times. We flew home today and, all things considered, the journey could not have been smoother. And tomorrow we fly out to England for Christmas with the in-laws. Quick, swap the bathing suits and sandals for scarves and wooly mittens!

Owl and Dragon

As our first week in sunny Florida comes to a close, we’re aaaaalmost over the jet lag, supporting my theory that, when unencumbered by individuals from a different age range, namely children, normal human beings will adjust to their new time zone in the number of days indicated in the graph below:

Those units on the left (y) axis indicate the number of days needed to adjust, and can be calculated by dividing the number of time zones traversed by three. So, for all of you keeping score at home, it should take a 10-year-old four full days to adjust to their new time zone if they were to travel across six time zones. But I digress…

We’re in Florida! The flight was easier than expected. We splurged for a direct flight. Well worth it. The duty-free bottle of rum helped. Sebastian was sick on arrival. Not having insurance in the US sucks. Walk-in clinics also suck, but not as much. Antibiotics are helping. We’re staying at GG’s house. Spent the first three days at the pool. Very nice. Emily can now swim underwater, do the backstroke, and perform forward rolls in the pool. Very cool. Sebastian likes his rubber ring. Very cute. Emily went to LEGOLAND yesterday with Nana and Poppi Phil where she got her driving license. We’re very proud. Have already seen Nana, Poppi Phil, Aunt Amy, Aunt Ruthie, and cousins Susie, Marli, Cookie, and Mike. More family are added every day, culminating this Sunday at a party at my mom’s house. We’ll head up to my dad’s house near Tampa a few days after the party. 17 days in total in Florida. Not too shabby. Then we spend 24 hours back in Barcelona before we ship off to England for a very merry Christmas week with Jan’s parents. That will be cold. So in the meantime…

Incoming!

Emily told me last night that, instead of reading a bedtime story, she wanted to talk about things before going to sleep. And by “things” she apparently meant “physics, geology, chemistry, and electrical engineering”. Lying in bed, this is how things started:

Emily: Daddy, what is time?

Me: Oh boy. Uh… wow. Well… it’s like the fourth dimension.

Emily: Like one, two, three, four?

Me: Yeah, that’s it. Umm… ok! Do you know what space is?

Emily: Yes! That’s where planets are!

Me: Right. But there’s space everywhere. The planets you’re thinking of are in outer space.

Emily: That’s what I said.

Me: Do you know which planet we’re on?

Emily: England? No, Barcelona!

Me: Well, England is a country and Barcelona is a city. And all the countries and cities are on one planet. Our planet is called Earth.

Emily: Oh yeah, I knew that.

Me: And there are other planets.

Emily: One has lots of different colors and rings around it.

Me: That’s right. That’s Saturn.

Emily: Oh yes.

Me: Do you know any other planets?

Emily: …

Me: One of the planets next to the Earth is called Mars. It’s red.

Emily: Red?!

Me: Yup. And do you know what color the Earth is?

Emily: Brown? Because the ground is brown.

Me: That’s right! It’s brown and green and blue. Do you know why part of it is green?

Emily: Plants?

Me: Very good! And what is blue on the Earth?

Emily: Ice?

Me: Yes, ice can be blue. What else is blue?

Emily: The sky?

Me: Good, but what else on the Earth is blue?

Emily: …

Me: Water is blue.

Emily: Oh yes, of course! Water is a liquid.

And I just stared at her and smiled with pride.

But the conversation didn’t end there. Instead of falling asleep, Emily was infused with the creative energy of curiosity. For our previous conversation had only flirted with the slippery precipice of an altogether different rabbit hole. Good thing I had my phone at the ready:

And here we see Sebastian zipping down some ramps on his sister’s scooter. He’s very good in that he always asks permission before attempting a new ramp with a higher degree of difficulty. I’m very bad in that I pretty much always say yes.

He’s two.

For our fifth and final episode of this installment of Sebastian Video Week (only one month late), Sebastian the Chatterbox, through a series of inspired design decisions and unorthodox inflation techniques, lays the beginning of what promises to be an epic train set configuration. Sorry for the shitty sound. And yes, I understand absolutely everything he said.

Sebastian offers us his Xbox 360 Kinect Masterclass. Watch and learn.

Sebastian used to be able to flawlessly count to 100. Then he discovered how much fun it was to jump and land on his head. Now he can’t even make it to 20. Tragic.

Who really wants to see a video of a kid making a poo? That’s what I thought. Here Sebastian talks us through his process.