All posts by Josh

He’s A Year And A Half

Happy 1 1/2 year birthday, Sebastian.

Wedding Pringles
Wedding Pringles
(1 year, 5 months)

I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again: having a boy is absolutely nothing like having a girl. I wish I could say that some things are easier and some things are more difficult, but I can’t think of a single thing that is easier when you add a little testosterone into the mix. Heck, even wiping poo off a stinky butt is more challenging once you add those extra bits down there. It’s a good thing he has such a winning smile.

Bubble Cup
Bubble Cup
(1 year, 5 months)

With Second Child Syndrome in full effect, I haven’t had the luxury of blogging every single one of Sebastian’s milestones as I did with Emily. But I’m not giving up entirely. I hope this little entry goes a long way to catching you up to where our bouncing baby boy is today.

  • Sebastian is violent. No need to beat around the bush. He is a brute. I’m not saying he’s any more violent than other boys his age (though I fear he might be), but all we have to compare with is a lovely little girl. We were totally comfortable with forward rolls, brushing hair, impromptu ballet performances, and teddy bear cook-offs. Now we have shouting, hitting, throwing, biting, shouting, pushing, kicking, and shouting to contend with. He’s a rough-and-tumble bruised-and-battered kinetic little ball of pent-up hormones. We often fear for our lives.
  • A year and a half appears to be the time when children (or maybe just our child) begin to appreciate the company of other similar-sized people. Sebastian loves being around other kids – especially older kids. He likes chasing games and hiding games best. It’s very interesting watching him follow people around and imitate everything they do. He’s a little monkey man.
  • Sebastian was born into a house filled with magic ponies and pink dresses. We supplied no “boy” toys at the beginning. The first toy that Sebastian showed any interest in? Emily’s doll stroller. What did he do with it? He flipped it upside down and spun the wheels. Oooh wheels! At that moment, a whole new world of spinning delight had opened up to Sebastian. He was fascinated by absolutely anything with wheels: cars, trains, bicycles, skateboards, shopping carts, suitcases. Sebastian has got a wheel fetish.
  • Strike that; Sebastian does not have a wheel fetish. It’s an obsession! He has, however, got a pretty nasty shoe fetish. Around the house or in public. His shoes or anyone else’s. Sebastian loves putting on and walking around (or dancing) in different shoes. It makes him very happy.
  • But why walk (or dance) when you can jump? Sebastian is a jumping fool. It started with the patented Bum Drop™ around the house, moved on to the bouncy bed with Emily, then proceeded to flourish on the couch in the living room (mostly from the arm of the couch, but he has been known to Bum Drop from the couch to the floor). His love of jumping has trumped any fear of water as he now enjoys jumping into swimming pools – usually when we’re there to catch him (but not always).
  • Many of you know that Sebastian started walking when he was about nine months old, but did you know that he then started playing football (soccer) when he was only 12 months old? He’s amazing. He can kick the ball up and down the field for hours. And such ball control! Whenever we go to a park, the first thing he notices is if anyone is playing football. If so, he’ll walk right over to them and try to steal the ball. The big kids usually think he’s quite funny and let him play for a little while. I love it when he places the ball on the ground for a free kick, takes a few steps backwards, lines up his shot, and then charges at the ball and blasts it into the net. He’s only been playing for six months but he’s already better than his father (I guess that’s not really saying much).
  • Have you seen this boy’s smile? Sebastian’s teeth came in early and he’s very proud to show them off. His winning grin regularly wins him friends wherever he goes. He really is a smiley boy.
  • After smiling, Sebastian’s second favorite thing to do with his teeth is eat. Well, maybe biting, but probably eating. Only thing is, he will eat when he’s good and ready to eat. If the stars aren’t aligned correctly, that food is getting thrown across the room. But when he decides that the time is right, he will eat pretty much anything we set in front of him. Pasta, sausages, fish, chicken, vegetables, fruit, yogurt, rice, tofu… you name it! But only when he’s ready.
  • And now for a very contentious point. Talking. Sebastian is definitely the strong silent type – he just shouts instead of being silent. At a year and a half, Emily was already speaking circles around where Sebastian is right now. I know you’re not supposed to compare your kids to each other but, if this was really true, why would God have invented blogs? You see, as physically capable as Sebastian appears to be, I’m not so sure his elevator reaches the top floor. I mean, the lights are on but I’m not so sure anyone’s home. I guess what I’m trying to say is that he’s just not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I know, I know… “But he’s a boy! Boys develop later than girls!”. I’m having trouble swallowing this pill. Sure, he babbles all the time in his own adorable little language. He sometimes points to things he wants. He picks up random objects (remote controls, toy cars, shoes) and “talks” into them as if they were a telephone. But he’s not really talking. Just look at this:
Communication Breakdown

Words Emily could say
at 18 months

  • apple
  • baa (sheep noise)
  • baby
  • ball
  • balloon
  • B-B-B
  • bubbles
  • bye-bye
  • caca
  • car
  • cat
  • circle
  • cucumber
  • daddy
  • dog
  • eep-eep (monkey noise)
  • E-I-E-I-O
  • eye
  • flower
  • hi
  • key
  • kick
  • mama
  • meow (cat noise)
  • mommy
  • more
  • nay (horse noise)
  • no
  • one
  • orange
  • owl
  • ppbbbttt (elephant noise)
  • quack-quack (duck noise)
  • ssss (snake noise)
  • uh-oh
  • yeah
Words Sebastian can say
at 18 months

  • backpack
  • car
  • cheese
  • daddy
  • hello
  • mama
  • Pepa Pig
  • there you go
  • uh-oh
  • up

I swear he knew I was preparing to write this blog entry because he only added a couple of those words to his repertoire this week. At least he’s finally making and effort. And he’s finally starting to understand what the heck we’re talking about! When he bounds up to a helpless puppy dog and grabs a fistful of fur, we can say, “Gentle!!” and he’ll calmly stroke the dog’s head. That’s good. When he picks up a wooden toy train and is about to throw it at Emily’s head, we can say, “Put it down!!” and he’ll calmly place it on the floor. That’s good. He does not (apparently) understand the word “No”. It will be a major milestone when/if he ever understands (and respects) this word. Fingers crossed for sooner rather than later.

And that’s our boy! He gives the bestest hugs and is terribly affectionate. He’s the sweetest little bruiser you’ll ever want to meet. Here are a few choice photos from the past few months:

Dr. Jones
Dr. Jones
(1 year, 2 months)
Marsupial
Marsupial
(1 year, 2 months)
Swamp Thing
Swamp Thing
(1 year, 3 months)
Speed The Tractor
Speed The Tractor
(1 year, 4 months)
Swing High
Swing High
(1 year, 4 months)

And finally, here are a couple of videos. In this first one, you can observe a bit of those football skills I mentioned earlier. This is in the back garden at Jan’s sister’s house in England.

And in this second one, you can see a bunch of those jumps and a couple of Bum Drops. I wonder where he gets that from?

Ckecking In

Wow, I know it’s been a long time since I last blogged when I have to re-enter my login information to get to my WordPress dashboard because the cookie has expired. Know what I mean???

We’re Stuck. My Bad.

After a beautiful week in England, it’s time to go home. We’d love to stay longer but I’ve got to be back in Barcelona the next day to star in a new HP marketing video. So we scour the house for all random bits-and-bobs, pack the suitcases to the gills, make the sandwiches for the trip, thank grandma and granddad for their hospitality, cram the fam into the rental car, and speed through the pouring rain for an hour and a half to the nearest international airport. Anyone who has kids will appreciate the anguish involved in completing the previous sentence. We return the rental car and proceed to wait on the check-in line that snakes around the universe and never actually advances – you know the one. Jan and I take turns watching our suitcases on line and chasing our slippery children around the entire airport. We finally get to the front of the line and the friendly-yet-incompetent lady behind the counter kindly informs us that our tickets are not for today. They’re for tomorrow.

Shit.

Quick, think. I ask about getting on the flight anyway. We’re told to wait to one side while they check. Meanwhile, I hear the announcement closing our flight. We’re eventually told that there were 10 no-shows and we could buy tickets on the flight for 412 pounds. 412 pounds?!!? Fuck it, I say OK! We’re sent to another line where another lady – not quite as friendly but seven times more incompetent than the first lady – starts stabbing keys on her high-tech monochrome computer in some slow-motion hunt-and-peck fashion, all the while muttering, “I don’t know…”. She then tells us that it’s “impossible”. Shit.

So there we are. Stranded in the airport. In the middle of nowhere. No place to go. No transportation. With two uncomfortable and unrelenting kids. Jan and I then proceed to fail miserably at calmly discussing a reasonable solution to our dilemma.

We eventually decide to head back to grandma and granddad’s house with out tail between our legs. Who knows when the next train leaves. We ask at the taxi stand and they quote us 152 pounds for the one-way trip. 152 pounds?!!? They are not kidding (I asked). I ingeniously head back to the rental car desk from whence we had just left. 72 pounds for a 24-hour rental. Score! So back we drive. Defeated. Tired. Hungry. And definitely not on schedule to make the next day’s video shoot.

Jan had booked the flight and I just wrote the wrong goddamn date in my calendar – and all subsequent plans were made according to that botched date. So we missed the flight, but flew the next day. I missed the video shoot, but found a last-minute replacement (thanks, James!). And we ended up losing some more money, time from our lives, and a bit more of what little hair remains on my head. But I’m home now and typing this from the comfort of my own desk. It’s good to be home.

English Garden Wedding

What a beautiful day – for so many reasons. The sun was shining. The floral arches were in full bloom. The children laughed and played all day in the expansive English countryside. The wine was flowing and people were chatting and relaxing in the garden. Sarah and David got married today.

The Speech
The Speech

Yes, we just went to England not three weeks ago for Jan’s sister’s wedding. But that was family. Sarah and David are friends. A completely different type of wedding. So we’re back. One full week at grandma and granddad’s house culminating in a lovely little wedding at Sarah’s mum’s house in Upwell (just five minutes up the road from Jan’s parent’s house in Outwell). The weather was beautiful. The garden was beautiful. The food, the friends, the family, the speeches, the cottage, the chickens(!), the swing seat, the rugby, the ponds were beautiful. The couple were beautiful.

Congratulations, Sarah and David. Here’s to many beautiful years together. Huzzah!

I’ll Teach You English

There’s this English language course for adults called Global and they’ve put together a fantastic and comprehensive set of teaching tools, including a series of multimedia materials, to help teach the language to students of all different levels. And they asked me to be one of the actors in their videos! I guess they must like what I’ve done because, not only do they keep calling me back (I just did the intermediate and upper-intermediate course videos this week), but they’ve apparently used one of my videos as the sample on their web site (you’ll have to scroll down to the On-the-go section). They’ve also uploaded a couple more to the YouTubes. Look out, here’s one now:

There are some other, really fun ones. But I guess you’d have to buy the course to see them. I’ll see if I can get my hands on a few.

We’re In The Sea

Emily (3 years, 9 months) and Sebastian (16 months) are splashing to make all the waves. There is also some jumping and excited screaming. Quite a lot of screaming, actually.

Yup, the kids love taking a bath together. And I love nothing more than mopping up the bathroom and half the hallway after each one.

Spain to the Finals

I’m really enjoying this year’s World Cup. And not just because red-hot Spain just won the intense semifinal match against the Germany machine and will be playing against the Clockwork Orange in the finals on Sunday. But that does help. I just think that most of the matches have been of really high quality – at least since the Round of 16.

Sure, there were some surprises and disappointments. France crapped out early (good!) and Italy bit the big one (nice!). Mexico got a bum deal. And then England shit the bed. More recently, the South American powerhouses of Brazil and Argentina surprised the world by not winning the whole tournament five times over. Emily’s favorite team, Slovakia, did better than anyone expected – except for her. It’s a shame they had to run into Holland in the Ro16. The US actually played better than most people expected. That was nice.

I don’t pretend to know very much about football. I only started watching the sport eight years ago during the 2002 World Cup. That was awesome. We have so many friends from all over the world that each match had a personal spin to it that really added to the excitement. I was out at a different bar every night watching matches between tams from countries that I didn’t even know existed. The 2008 World Cup sort of came and went. I watched it, but it wasn’t nearly as memorable. And this year’s tournament has been watched mostly from the comfort of our living room sofa. But we might as well have been in the middle of Plaça Catalunya with all the shouting and cheering coming in through our open balcony doors from the entire neighborhood watching the same match at the same time with their balcony doors open. It was electric.

So… this Sunday. The 2010 World Cup final. La Roja vs. the Oranje. Spain’s first-ever World Cup final appearance. With a team made up principally of Barça players. Vamos España! Força Espanya!!

Pass the Pox, Please

Emily’s friend, Catalina, has chickenpox. So we went out to lunch with them last week. I made sure Emily gave Cata a big hug and kiss when we got there. Then I helped them share some ice cream. I even had them take turns trying to blow up a balloon. It was our own little private pox party. We still had three weeks before our trip to England and the start of summer so the timing was perfect. 10 days incubation. One week itchy/scratchy. A few more days to clear up and recover and off we go. What could go wrong?

Here’s where I went wrong. You see, when I was a kid, there was no such thing as a varicella vaccine. Everyone sooner or later just got chickenpox, took baths in Calamine lotion, and got over it. But Emily and Sebastian both received the vaccine before they were one, and I didn’t realize that only about 2% of vaccinated children will still get chickenpox. I just thought that they would catch it all the same, but it would be a much milder version of the virus. I was not correct.

Long story short, Emily did not contract chickenpox. But both Cata’s mom and I developed a really nasty throat infection, accompanied by hallucination-inducing high fever. Poetic justice? Reminds me of that episode of South Park, but without the herpes.

(fun fact: that episode of South Park may have been the last one to air before I moved to Spain back in ’98)

Jocular Form Letter

I’ve received a ton of mails through the Jocular website since we closed our last show. Many people want to know in advance when we’re putting up our next show and a bunch of others want to know about upcoming auditions! I need to draft a form letter response so as not to leave them all hanging. Also, handing out free wine in exchange for people’s email address at the show helped to pad our newsletter recipients list 🙂

LMAT Bar-b-q

Hey, wanna see the lovely photos Jan and I took at our Lend Me a Tenor post-performance celebratory bar-b-q?

Till The Sun Goes Down
Till The Sun Goes Down

I know I still haven’t posted the photos from the show itself, or even written a single word on how the show went! I will. I promise. But the crew has been bugging me to get these photos up as soon as possible so… here they are.

Ed offered his place to host the shindig and he, Basia, and Natalie were wonderfully welcoming. We all chipped in by bringing enough food and drink to feed an entire theater company. Drink flowed merrily. The rain came and went. And came. And went. The Americans diligently manned the bar-b-q. Much basketball was played. The Persians could not defeat the coalition of the willing. The profits from the production were distributed!! People were thrown in the not-so-warm-at-all pool. Speeches were made. Good times were had. I brought my camera. Here are the results:
**Fancy-shmancy full-screen slideshow**