All posts by Josh

The Snapping Turtle’s Lament

You know me; I like the theater thing. I try to do it often. Whenever I can, really. It makes me happy. These past seven years have seen me producing and directing, but I still get to do the acting thing on a semi-regular basis. Two shows a year has been the goal (and the average). I’ve been on quite a roll recently and thought that I’d be directing a new show with my company this fall. I even invited my cousin Marli to come all the way from Boston to Spain, stay with us for a few months, and stage manage this next production.

But before I had a chance to make anything official, I received word from the marvelous Jo Marvel that she would be directing an original play of hers this fall and wanted me to audition. Sweet! So I went to the audition last week – which was tons-o-fun – and promptly heard back with the good news that I will be playing Man 2 in the upcoming original production, “The Snapping Turtle’s Lament,” which opens on Friday, November 26. Marli will be stage managing 🙂

We had our first rehearsal this weekend and the group is fantastic – all people whom I know and love, except for one new actress, who fit right in. The play itself is quite surreal, very physical, and deliciously funny. The rehearsal process promises to be challenging and rewarding. I have to eat lots of different things onstage over the course of the show. I hope you all get a chance to see it in November and December when it goes up.

Look for Jocular Theatre to come back with a vengeance in the spring!

Choosing A Class Name for P4 2010-2011

Every year at Emily’s school, each nursery class (3, 4, and 5 year olds) gets a cool name. Last year, Emily’s class was known as The Dolphins (Els Dofins, in Catalan). And that’s all we knew. It was only at the end of the first semester that we received, amongst the pack of goodies that made their way home, a description of the class name selection process. We didn’t even know there was a process. It apparently goes like this:

Each kid in the class gets to propose a name. Along with the name, the kids draw a picture of their proposal. The drawings and suggestions are shared with the whole class and the three names that appear most often move on to the next phase. The class discusses each option in detail and then the kids vote on which of the finalists they like best.

I was very impressed to receive a bound booklet describing last year’s process. The booklet included:

  • Emily’s original proposal – The Dolphins
  • her drawing of a dolphin – which looks more like a bunch of red balloons than a dolphin
  • a list of each kid in the class and what they had originally suggested, including The Monkeys, The Penguins, The Butterflies, The Chicks, and The Moons
  • the list of the three finalists – The Motorcycles, The Lions, and The Dolphins
  • a detailed transcript of the conversations the class had about each finalist – that was hilarious
  • a tally of the final vote – Motorcycles: 10, Lions: 4, Dolphins: 11

Yes, Emily’s proposal of Els Dofins reigned victorious and, for the rest of the year, that is how that class was known.

As I said, we had no idea that this process was in place. We were just told one day that Emily’s class was called The Dolphins. They had done the whole process in school. Well, this year the kids were told to go home, think of a proposal, and bring it in the next day. So we got to help.

The Pirates? The Fairies? The Tigers? The Princesses and Princes? The Airplanes? There were so many options! In the end, we settled on The Hedgehogs (Els Eriçons, in Catalan). We are convinced that this is an awesome name and will be so much fun if it gets selected. In retrospect, I don’t think there is a very good chance that any other kid will come in with the name Hedgehogs as their original proposal. So, to sweeten the deal, I sent Emily in to school with her proposal formatted in the following manner:

hedgehog

And if that weren’t enough, I attached this photo to knock it out of the park:

hedgehogs

Let’s hear it for The Hedgehogs!!

Florida February – In Pictures

Hey, wanna see the lovely photos I took when we went to Florida this past February?

Wedding Down On The Farm
Wedding Down On The Farm

Yes, February. I know, I’m a few months behind in uploading my photos and sharing them with y’all. I’m working on it!

Florida provides us the geographically-best vantage point from which to visit most of our family while we’re in The States. I wish it was New York, but it’s Florida. I certainly can’t complain about the winter weather, though. And staying at the homes of my mom, dad, and grandmother is always a treat.

The highlight of our trip (and the very reason for going) was my sister Amanda’s wedding. What a fantastic event! Not only did we get to share in the joy of seeing my little sister get married to a heckuva guy alongside our wonderful family, but the wedding itself was… one of a kind. I’ve gotta admit that, when I heard that they would be getting married in a field… in the middle of nowhere… with pigs and horses… and that some guests would be arriving by ATV… while everyone sat on bales of hay… ending with a huge bonfire… I was a bit skeptical. We’re city folk! But Amanda and Mark’s wedding was one of the most beautiful and personal weddings I have ever had the pleasure of attending. I was even presented with the honor of presiding over the actual wedding ceremony. That was a delightful first for me.

So, anyway… Florida. February. Family. Pools. Sebastian’s first birthday. Wedding. Bales of hay. Just click on the following link and be whisked away:
**Fancy-shmancy full-screen slideshow**

She’s Four

Happy 4th birthday, Emily.

Southern Belle
Southern Belle

That is one of my favorite photos. Ever.

Watching Emily sleep in her bed tonight makes me feel all at once proud of the independent little girl who has accomplished so much, and scared to death of the big girl who is growing up so damn fast. She’s a delightfully stubborn and cheeky little girl who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to tell you what that is.

Bathing Bonkers
Bathing Bonkers

Here’s a short set of four-year-old bullet points to give you a glimpse into some of the things our little girl is up to these days:

  • Emily is getting much better at adapting to different situations. Whether it’s going to a new class, meeting new people, eating in different restaurants, or sleeping in hotels, she’s much more able to just roll with the punches than she was just six months ago.
  • Sebastian will throw toys at Emily. He will wake her up by smacking her head. He will calmly walk up to her, look her in the eyes, and then shove her with all his might. Emily is very patient with Sebastian’s violent tendencies. She’s very good at telling us when Sebastian goes rogue. She’s not so good at actually getting herself out of these dangerous situations.
  • As I mentioned in my Mallorca live blogging, Emily is finally getting her head around the whole swimming concept. The fear is diminishing as the confidence and enjoyment increase. She is very proud of herself now that she can swim through the deep end on her own (with a swim belt) and we are very proud of her. She still doesn’t want to get her face wet, though. One step at a time.
  • While waiting for the bus the other day, Emily started swinging around a pole – as she does. And then she started counting. To a hundred! Well, she actually gave up at 91 but I’m pretty sure she knew the next few numbers. I had never heard her count past 25 on her own before. That was awesome.
  • Emily is eloquent. I forget how well she expresses herself until I see her around other kids her age doing the whole kid-talk thing: poor vocabulary accompanied by lisping and stuttering. I guess I just forget how young she is in general.
  • Emily can whistle. She just showed me for the first time while I was writing this. I have no idea how or when that started.
  • Taking a shameful page out of her daddy’s book, Emily still isn’t into reading. Sure, she very much looks forward to her bedtime story every night, but that’s probably more of a sleepy routine now. Very rarely will she ever ask to hear a story during the day and I can’t remember the last time she picked up a book to flip through by herself.
  • Emily was sooooo eager to be four. For the past few months (a third of her being three), she has been asking us (over and over again) “When will I be four?” “When is my birthday?” “When is September?” “When is the summer going to be over?” She tells us that she’s gonna be a big girl now. Kinda like she was when she turned three. Except now she won’t be the youngest at school. Being big to her means sleeping in a bunk bed and losing some teeth. We told her she can have a bunk bed when Sebastian is old enough to sleep on the bottom bunk. I don’t have the heart to tell her that losing teeth might be a six-year-old thing.
My Bronze Girl
My Bronze Girl

We’ve got a big year ahead of us. Emily will probably be taking swim classes at school. She might begin ballet classes after school. She’ll probably start sharing a bedroom with Sebastian (which means a bunk bed!). She’ll be riding bikes and, if she has her way, rollerblading. She’ll be traveling to Florida, England, New York, and who-knows-where-else. We hope she doesn’t start losing any teeth for another couple of years.

Blushing Bride
Blushing Bride

Wanna see a couple dozen beautiful photos of our little carrot-top taken over the course of this past year? Well you’re in luck! I just so happen to have a link all prepared to show you just that. Quick, click here:
**Fancy-shmancy full-screen slideshow**

And finally, here’s a video of Emily rocking out to some Beatles while Sebastian joins in on percussion – and wears boots.


My Little Day Tripper

Emily’s Fourth Annual Nude Gay Beach Party

Though not officially four years old until Monday, we celebrated Emily’s birthday today as we do every year. And it was just as much fun and just as much of a success as always. Hurray!

Instead of listing the many ways in which this year’s party was the same as every other year, it would be easier to point out the few differences that were noticed. First off, it was much hotter. Note: plan next year’s beach party for 4pm instead of 3pm. Second, there were many more people on the beach around us. This is probably because this is the earliest we have ever celebrated Emily’s birthday and the hordes of tourists have yet to end their summer holiday and travel home. And finally, Jan and I found ourselves spending much of our time and energy chasing (or searching for) Sebastian. That boy is fast and mischievous – a dangerous combination that I would rather not have to chase down the beach.

I’m sure I’ll upload the photos from the party sometime within the next four months. But expect the full Emily birthday blog sometime this week. Four years old!!

Let Them Eat Cake 4
Let Them Eat Cake 4

Live Blogging Mallorca 2010 – Part 3

We’ve been back in Barcelona for a few days now, but I have yet to close this chapter of our summer. So here goes. I took fewer detailed notes during our last couple of days in Mallorca so I don’t have as much to blog about. I guess it was about here that I really started to relax.

Saturday

2:00pm – We’re back at the same little beach as Thursday. Today we’re here a little earlier so the sun is actually stretched across the whole beach and not blocked by the impressive cliffs on each side of the cove. Sebastian just knocked down every sand castle he could find and is now happily sitting in a hole that some kid dug. Emily and Cata are watching some little French girl catch fish with a butterfly net and I just spent 15 minutes with Jan’s goggles, watching the schools of fish dart between everyone’s legs in the crystal-clear waters.

5:30pm – The shortest route back from the beach cuts through the pool deck of a neighboring hotel. There are four girls in what appear to be four giant hamster wheels trying to run in the pool. They’re mostly falling down. Emily wants to try it but this isn’t our hotel and we probably shouldn’t stay too long. I want to try it, too.

8:50pm – Inspired from the night before, we’re back at the kiddie disco. Emily and Cata are both up on the stage having a grand old time. It’s funny watching them wiggle their little bottoms.

10:30pm – The week’s debauchery has caught up with me and I have happily volunteered to stay at home tonight on kid patrol while Jan, Isabella, and Andrés paint the town red. I’ll catch up on some work, update my fantasy baseball team, and go to sleep early. I need it.

Sunday

8:00am – I’m already down by the pool with Sebastian and the hordes of German early-morning deckchair claimers are mysteriously absent. They must have gone home yesterday.

10:30am – This is our last full day in Mallorca so we’re gonna try and make the most of it. And by ‘make the most of it’ I mean do absolutely nothing. Just chill by the pool. All day long. Nice.

4:00pm – I couldn’t resist one final game of volleyball on the sand court across the road. The hotel staff count on me now to play any time they schedule a match. I’m happy to oblige. I haven’t played (for real) in such a long time. I can’t wait until everyone gets back from their summer holidays and the games start up at HP again. It really is one of the only things that keeps me from working from home all the time.

Monday

8:00am – Every morning, I take Sebastian down to the restaurant for breakfast at some ungodly hour and he usually eats five bites before needing to run around the entire hotel from pool to playground and back again. I usually have three minutes to eat my own breakfast. Why on Earth have I not thought to eat outside on the terrace where I can comfortably eat and watch him run around at the same time? Oh well, I’ll know for next year. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my breakfast. For once.

12:40pm – The restaurant opens for lunch in five minutes. We’ll then have 15 minutes to eat (and feed the kids) before the bus arrives to bring us to the airport. On your marks…

1:15pm – We’re standing on the sidewalk outside the hotel with all our bags while the kids run everywhichway. The bus is five minutes late. I could have had dessert after my lunch! I’m off to the bar to take final advantage of our “todo incluido” wristbands and get some drinks for the bus ride. One piña colada, one white vermouth, one Cuba Libre, and one orange granizado with rum coming right up!

4:00pm – Our flight is experiencing a slight delay. None of the restaurants in the airport appear to have a corkscrew to open the bottle of wine I just bought in the duty free shop. It was much easier finding a corkscrew in the Barcelona airport when I bought a bottle before we left. Mmmmm… airport drinking!

4:10pm – Never mind, I found one. Crisis averted. Wine is flowing in the waiting area of Gate 86. And we’ve got an entire box of After Eights to get through.

6:00pm – We’ve landed in Barcelona. It’s a beautifully pleasant summer evening. In the immortal words of Emily from the end of our last trip to England, “It’s nice to go on holiday. But it’s also nice to come home.”

Live Blogging Mallorca 2010 – Part 2

Thursday (cont’d)

10:00pm – This evening’s entertainment is apparently a “Mr. Cala d’Or” competition. They asked me to participate; I declined. It’s a good thing, too. The events include such activities as drinking sangria, ripping off your shirt and doing push-ups, kissing as many women in the audience as possible, a twisted version of Simon Says, and a lip sync performance in drag. All the little kids from the kiddie disco are watching from the front row. This would not go down well in a hotel in the US. I’m sure I would do pretty well in this competition. But as Jan astutely pointed out, I probably would try too hard to do everything well. My favorite contestant to watch is the guy from Germany who just has a blast with each event, not worrying about where he’ll finish. The Italian guy is too cool for school. The Dutch guy is out to win it all. The Spanish guy is a bit hopeless.

11:00pm – Before they announce the winner of the competition, they invite everyone on stage to dance. Jan and I jump up for a boogie. The two songs they choose have surprisingly sexually explicit lyrics and choreography. More surprising is the children from the kiddie disco (who haven’t gone to bed yet) who know all the moves! I swear, a little four year-old boy is simulating doggie-style intercourse in front of Jan and me right now. This would not go down well in a hotel in the US.

11:20pm – The Italian just won the Mr. Cala d’Or competition and Jan, Andrés, and I are off to walk around town and find a bar.

11:30pm – Karaoke bar from last night is open. And there’s karaoke. Score!

Friday

8:00am – I woke up with Sebastian again at 7am. Not cool. I’ve taken him down to the pool so as to not wake up Emily and Jan. Nobody has placed any towels on the deck chairs yet because they’re all locked together and don’t become available until 8:30am. The Germans are circling like buzzards, waiting to claim every last chair the moment that lock comes off.

10:20am – One of the entertainment directors just asked me if I wanted to do some rifle shooting in 10 minutes out behind the hotel. This would not go down well in a hotel in the US.

11:00am – I’m not going to do much swimming today. Instead, I’ve finally taken out my camera. I’ve been meaning to do it since we got here but we’ve been immersed in water every waking moment. I know I’ve missed some amazing shots, but I’ve got them in my head. The one where I was swimming, looking up at Emily standing on the side of the pool with her floaty vest in front of a couple of strong palm trees and the amazing blue sky was beautiful.

1:30pm – Why do I insist on eating every single one of the desserts available at every single meal? They’re not even that good!

4:00pm – Emily and Cata are off doing pirate activities this afternoon while I lounge in the kiddie pool with Sebastian. I love how people around the pool watch him in amazement as he jumps into the pool on his own and starts spinning around and flailing his arms and doing his bum drops in the water. I’ve never seen anyone get so much joy out of swimming before. It’s beautiful.

4:45pm – On our way to the bar for some snacks, Sebastian and I just passed a group of eight year-olds being lead in a game of beer pong by hotel activity coordinators. This would not go down well in a hotel in the US.

6:00pm – I just walked out of our room and saw Emily and Cata playing in the hallway outside. They are wearing the same exact dress. It felt way too much like a scene from The Shining.

9:00pm – We decided to let the kids stay up a little bit later than usual tonight to attend the kiddie disco (which starts at 8:45!). Cata made a beeline for the stage. Emily had a fit of the shyness and is on Isabella’s lap. Oh well.

10:25pm – I am now the official Cala d’Or Gardens Rock-Paper-Scissor Champion!! The competition was grueling, and the crowd certainly wasn’t on my side to begin with (since I am apparently the only American in the entire hotel at the moment) but I triumphed in the end and won a bottle of Cava, which I dutifully gave to the guy I beat in the finals. I’m keeping my certificate, though.

Live Blogging Mallorca 2010

Wednesday

12:30pm – Our flight is getting ready to land. I think we’ve been in the air for about 28 minutes. Emily and Cata couldn’t agree on who got to sit next to the window so we had to separate them. The island below looks huge! I didn’t realize Mallorca was so big. The Mediterranean Sea entering the many hidden coves around the island creates an amazing spotted turquoise effect along the coast.

1:20pm – On the bus to the hotel. I’m trying to eat a sandwich with one hand while my other arm is busy holding a sleeping Sebastian. Andrés is having trouble finding where we’re going on the map.

2:00pm – We’ve arrived at the Cal d’Or Gardens Hotel on the east coast of the island. Looks nice enough. There’s a fountain outside that sends water running down the windows in front of the hotel – pretty neat effect. It’s lunch time so the guy at reception says we can go have lunch before actually checking in. We get our “VIP everything included” wristbands and we’re off.

2:45pm – According to the calendar on the wall at reception, there are plenty of activities to keep us busy all week. For the kids: t-shirt painting, cooking classes, dance classes, mask making, kiddie disco, and sports and games. For the adults: dance classes, water aerobics, gym workouts, cocktail creation classes, shooting lessons(!), nighttime shows, and sports and games. I wonder if we’ll actually take advantage of any of them.

3:10pm – We’re all settled into our room – basic but comfortable. We’re right next to the playground – Emily was amazed at the white sand. “It’s so soft! Feel it!”. Our room’s terrace looks out over one of the swimming pools (very nice!). Emily has a fold-out bed and Sebastian has a crib. I hope sleeping everyone in the same room doesn’t cause any problems.

3:20pm – Everyone just jumped right into the pool. Emily is swimming with her new floaty vest and is more confident in the water than I’ve ever seen her. Sebastian is going ballistic in the kiddie pool and is as happy as a pig in shit. He’s actually squealing.

4:00pm – Just checked out the bar. They’ve got pretty much anything you can imagine but, since it’s all-you-can-drink, they’ve made sure to stock the bar with the cheapest alcohol possible. My first piña colada was pretty lame. The official drink of the day is a new creation of ours: an orange granizado with dark rum poured over it. Yummy!

5:15pm – A stranger just knocked on our door holding a hysterically crying Emily is her arms. Emily had been playing in the playground by herself and fell off the swings. Luckily she had the wherewithal to show this kind stranger where her room was. I’m very impressed she remembered the way after only going back to the room twice since arriving.

8:45pm – Emily and Cata are playing in the playground before getting ready for bed. I’m with Sebastian at the kiddie disco. The two event coordinators are dressed as Superman and Superwoman and are shouting in Italian as everyone dances to The Hokey Pokey and The Monster Mash. The music is so damn loud. I put Sebastian up on the stage and he immediately joins in by swinging his arms and spinning around. He also likes to stand right in front of the speakers and hold his hand out to feel the vibrations. Then he runs towards the front of the stage and jumps off the edge into my arms. The kid is insane. I put him back on the stage, he dances a little more, and does another stage dive. We repeat this about 20 times.

10:30pm – The kids are all in bed and Jan has stayed behind as the evening’s babysitter. I’m with Isabella and Andrés watching the evening entertainment. It’s a horror-themed variety show. It’s pretty horrific. Have these people no shame? It makes every children’s theater performance we’ve ever done look like Broadway. Still, kinda fun to watch 🙂

11:40pm – We grab a handful of Cuba Libres and set off to find the beach. It’s only supposed to be 100 meters from the hotel but we can’t find it. We blame the rum. We do find a karaoke bar where Alicia Keys’ New York brings a tear to my eye – as usual. And we eventually do find an amazing moonlit cliff overlooking the cove where the beach is supposed to be. We sit on the side of the cliff and talk while naming stars, exploring the landscape, and listening to the sea do its midnight dance.

Thursday

7:00am – Sebastian doesn’t realize we’re on holiday and wakes up entirely too early. Grrr.

10:30am – Andrea, the Slovakian event coordinator, just painted a big green A on my cheek. I’m apparently on her team for today’s Olympics. The rest of my team is made up of all Germans and one French guy.

11:00am – First up, water volley. Jan, Emily, and Sebastian are on the side of the pool cheering me on. The kids wave to me between every point. We do OK. Second place.

11:40am – Emily and Cata are back in the playground. They are both apparently “Grumpy old trolls who live under the bridge”. Too much Dora, methinks. They have all their troll friends and family sitting on the swings and on the see-saw. Each troll is represented by a small pile of sand. The girls inform me that Sebastian is a little baby grumpy old troll. He doesn’t seem to mind. He likes the slides.

12:00pm – Next sport, football (soccer). I tell my team to let me sit this one out. I don’t know how to play football, I’m just a silly American. Their nickname for me, by the way, is “New York”. They convince me to play and I wind up scoring the winning goal in overtime on penalties! We still end up in second place. And my feet hurt.

2:00pm – Everyone is exhausted at lunch. We decide to schedule some naps into the day’s activities.

4:00pm – Third Olympic event, volleyball! This was pretty much the only reason I wanted to play in these games. I do my part to keep us competitive but it’s not enough to beat the Italians. We take last place. I still had a good time and was very proud of myself for not getting worked up over the jungleball that was being played.

5:00pm – Finally, off to the beach. The nearest beach (the one we couldn’t find last night) is closer than any of us had imagined. It’s also a lot smaller than any of us had imagined. But it’s beautiful. The water in this tiny cove is crystal clear and there are tons of tiny fish zipping across the sea floor. One not-too-small fish tried to bite Jan’s foot. She didn’t like that. Sebastian found a toy car on the beach and was instantly in heaven.

Shoes and Suitcases

A good pair of shoes is a very important thing. Especially when you consider the significant percentage of your life that you spend wearing them. The same should be said for a good suitcase. Especially when you travel as much as we have recently.

Emily’s school ended at the end of June and, on the first week of July, we packed our suitcase for a week in England. We returned to spend a couple of weeks in Barcelona before we packed our suitcase again for… wait for it… another week in England! August saw us spend another week in Barcelona before we packed our suitcase again and headed to a sweet villa by the beach down in Sitges along with 10 of our closest friends. We had to return to Barcelona for the manic Festa Major de Gràcia, but then we packed our suitcase again for a lovely stay with Juls & Co. down by the beach in Calafell. Now we’re back in Barcelona. And guess what we’re doing? That’s right. We’re packing our suitcase one final time for our Spanish summer swan song: Mallorca!!

This will be the holiday to end all holidays. At least for this summer. Traveling with our good friends Isabella, Andrés, and Catalina, we’ve opted for the “todo incluido” package at a hotel on the northeast coast of the island where we’ll be enjoying what we hope to be a full week of rest and relaxation by one of the various pools or maybe down by the beach inside a glorious rocky cove. All meals, all snacks, and all drinks (yes, all drinks!) are included. The big question is how successful the Kids Club will be. Will this guarantee a level of child autonomy, during which time the grownups may enjoy the Margarita-till-you-drop special? I’ll let you know when we get back 🙂

Now I’ve just got to get me a good pair of shoes…