Well, we just finished our last full rehearsal of The Snapping Turtle’s Lament before we open this Friday. I’m a little nervous since I haven’t been on stage for almost three years. But the group and the show are great. My text is (90%) memorized, my character is off the hook, my costume is green and complete, my turtle is sweet, I’ve almost got the scene changes figured out, and the entire cast is firing on all cylinders. It’s an absurd comedy involving puppets, food, music, the pursuit of money, and – if you behave – Teletubbies. It should be lots of fun. All that’s left is a dry tech on Wednesday and a full-fledged no-holds-barred technical rehearsal on Thursday. Oh yeah, and we need to put butts in seats. Come see the show!!

Can you tell which one is supposed to be me?

I was rocking the command line in DOS on our home computer back in 1981 before anyone else on the block had one. I was coding Web pages back in 1995 before most people knew what the Web was. I bought my first digital camera more than 10 years ago when most people thought a Polaroid was the future of photography. I’m an “early adopter” and proud of it. That’s why I felt crazy embarrassed that it took me so long to jump on the smartphone express. In my defense, I was just waiting for the right time.

A few years ago, the virgin market was budding with experimental new devices and something called an iPhone while companies struggled to understand exactly what they were doing and what the market really wanted. I knew that I wouldn’t have to lug around my cell phone, my mp3 player, and my Palm Pilot for much longer; a single-device solution was on the horizon. And I was excited.

I can write till I’m blue in the face as to why buying an iPhone was never an option for me. I’m simply not their target market: I choose to build my own computers; I run Linux on my home box; I prefer a manual to an automatic transmission; I’m a tweaker and a hacker and a pirate; I want my devices to do what I want them to do, not what they want me to do; I am a power user. So when I heard that a line of smartphones was coming out based on Google’s free and open source Android operating system, I knew the time was nigh. But I didn’t take the plunge right away. I’m one of the few pragmatic early adopters out there. I had to research this investment to death before climbing aboard. This was last year and all I kept reading about was the rumor of a behemoth of a superphone being developed under shroud of mystery by a little company called HTC, supposedly codenamed the Bravo. Or the Passion. Or the Dragon. But in actuality, it was called the HTC Desire. And it turned out to be everything it was hyped up to be.

Emily and I went to the supermarket today. Sometimes, at the checkout counter, they give my kids free gifts. Just for being cute. Sometimes it’s colored pencils. Sometimes it’s beach balls. Today it was a bag of potato chips. Walking home, Emily quietly thought about what had just happened for a minute before we had the following conversation:

Emily: Daddy, why did they give me a present?

Me: That was very nice of them to give you a present. Why do you think they gave it to you?

Emily: Because I’m cute.

Me: (laughing) That’s right!

Emily: People always think I’m cute.

Me: That’s because you are cute. Don’t you think you’re cute?

Emily: I don’t know. I can’t see myself.

Me: Have you ever looked in a mirror?

Emily: Yes.

Me: OK. So when you see yourself in the mirror, do you think you’re cute?

Emily: Yes.

Me: And do you think Sebastian is cute?

Emily: (smiling) Yes.

Me: Is mommy cute?

Emily: Yes!

Me: And do you think I’m cute?

Emily: Yes. That’s because everyone who is a Zamrycki is cute.

Now that’s cute.

Hey, wanna see the lovely photos I took at Jan’s birthday this year?

My Birthday Girl

Yes, I know Jan’s birthday was in April. I’m working on catching up. I swear.

Not celebrating a birthday that is evenly divisible by 5, we didn’t break the bank on this year’s party. God, that sounds so romantic. Anyway, we invited a gaggle of close friends to join us for an impromptu picnic in the verdant gardens of Barcelona’s noble Montjuic. It was a beautiful day, we were in a beautiful setting, and surrounded by beautiful people. Children frolicked, tales were told, wine was guzzled, and memories were made. I took many photos that day, but I must admit that most of them were of people whose last name rhymes with Ham Ricky. If you’d like to view a smattering of these jolly photos, just click on the following link and be whisked away:
**Fancy-shmancy full-screen slideshow**

This is where I work:

I have no idea where I was when this was planned and executed. I had no idea it was happening. I wish I knew. Looks like it was fun.

As you can see, I share the site with about 2000 other people. The place is like a college campus. Some of the members of my team (LFP Marketing) can be seen on the second half of the steps at around 4:12 of the video.

I like my job.

Emily, while practicing writing letters on a piece of paper:

Emily: Mummy, what’s the first letter of your name?

Jan: J.

Emily: (diligently writing) And what’s a different letter?

Jan: Um… L.

Emily: OK, and what’s a different letter?

Jan: P.

Emily: Now what’s a different letter?

Jan: O.

Emily: And a different letter?

Jan: M is a good one.

Emily: What’s another one?

Jan: R.

Emily: A different one?

Jan: W.

Emily: OK, I don’t want to write anymore. (looking at the paper) Wow… you have a really long name!

Emily’s big-girl bed has a lovely metal frame. She and Sebastian were jumping on the bed last week before bedtime when Emily decided that she needed to quickly bury her head in her pillow. So, after a few warm-up jumps to build up momentum, she spontaneously flung herself face-first towards her pillow. And missed. I was sitting on the floor next to the bed and all I heard was a wet and muffled crunch. Emily had enthusiastically met the thin metal bar with her top right front tooth. Just from the gruesome sound of the collision alone, I couldn’t bear to look at my little girl, who was now convulsing with agony. This, in turn, set off Sebastian crying. Jan ran into the room to find both children crying hysterically on the bed in a small pool of blood and me shielding my eyes while writhing in the fetal position on the floor. I just freaked out and couldn’t bring myself to look at the actual damage. I didn’t have to look to know it was bad.

When Emily finally spit the blood out of her mouth, we were able to see how her tooth was now tilting significantly inwards towards her tonsils. My first reaction was to try and push it back into place but Jan wasn’t letting me within 10 feet of Emily’s mouth if that was my plan. So we just calmed her down, cleaned her off, gave her some pain-relief medication, and put her to bed. A quick search on the information superhighway advised us to make a dentist appointment as soon as possible (very good advice!) and prepared us for one of three possible outcomes: 1) the dentist would push the tooth back into place, 2) just leave it alone and wait for it to eventually fall out along with all her other baby teeth, or 3) the tooth would have to be pulled.

To make a long and painful story short, the dentist said to just leave it alone. The tooth may change color in the coming weeks but there isn’t any reason to mess with it. The worst case scenario is that the cockeyed tooth somehow messes with the yet-to-surface adult tooth to follow, causing it to grow in crooked, but that is something that we won’t know until it actually happens. The result of all this is that our little girl’s angelic smile has been redneckified. Neither Jan nor I can stop staring at Emily’s mouth when she talks (or laughs or smiles). Much more noticeable than the pushed back tooth itself is the effect on the unmoved other front tooth, which now looks like it’s all alone and sticking out. I would post a photo, but I’m too ashamed.

So… Emily’s friend, Tess, celebrated her fourth birthday a few weeks ago and had a party in Parc de la Ciutadella. The theme was Princesses and Superheroes – every guest was supposed to dress up as either one or the other. Guess who the only parent was that made an effort.

Here’s a little note to all you budding cat burglars out there: we’ll be out of our house for most of the month of December. That’s right, we’ve just booked our December travel plans!

Our adventures begin just two days after we close The Snapping Turtle’s Lament when we’ll be flying to Florida on December 7. We’ll be splitting our time between my Nana’s house, my Mom’s, and my Dad’s. We’ll have two full weeks to soak up the winter sun in Miami and Tampa before we fly back to Barcelona on December 19. I hope we’ll be able to sort out our jet lag in 48 hours because we then fly to England on December 22. After our traditional Christmas with Jan’s parents and a few snowball fights, we fly back to Barcelona on December 28, just in time for New Year’s grapes and Cava in Catalunya.

Sebastian turns two in February so we might book another trip for Reyes at the beginning of January before we have to pay full fare for all four of us. Four full fare tickets from then on! Not cool.

So, anyone planning on being in the North Miami Beach area? Or Tampa? Or Outwell? Let’s set a play date!

While tucking Emily into bed tonight:

Me: You know, grandma and granddad are coming tonight.

Emily: I want to see them.

Me: They won’t be coming until late tonight. You’ll see them in the morning. We’ll have breakfast together.

Emily: I want grandma and granddad to come and pick me up from school tomorrow.

Me: They can do that.

Emily: Actually, I just want grandma to come.

Me: OK…

Emily: Because granddad is old. And grandma is not old.

Me: Well, they’re both a little old… Just like I’m a little old. And you’re a little old.

Emily: Yeah. I’m a little old. But they’re not old. Like four years old. They’re not four years old. They’re older.

Me: That’s right. They’re a little bit older. And granddad just doesn’t walk very well. That’s why grandma can come and pick you up from school.

Emily: And when you’re really old, you become a star in the sky.

Me: Yes, but only when you’re really really old.

Emily: Yeah. When you die. (thinking) When granddad dies, grandma will be all alone.

Me: Maybe. Or maybe she’ll live with someone else, like Auntie Sue or Auntie Liz. Or maybe she will live alone. We don’t know.

Emily: Or maybe she’ll get a new granddad.

Me: Yes, that sometimes happens, too. But we don’t have to worry about that because grandma and granddad are not really old and they’re just fine and they’ll be coming to our house tonight and we’ll see them in the morning and we’ll have breakfast with them.

Emily: (thinking… and then smiling) OK.