I had no intention of compiling another one of these lexicographical development-tracking charts until he turns two in February, but Sebastian has been adding words to his vocabulary at an alarming speed since the last update (just a month ago!) and I was afraid of the copious updates needed if I were to wait just another month and a half. There’s something about a holiday to an unknown place that starts all sorts of synapses firing in a kid’s brain, and we’ve just come back from almost an entire month away in both Florida and England! I mean, just watch this video and then try to tell me that this kid is not ready to join a speech and debate team:

See what I mean! But seriously folks, even though the above video does little to prove my claims, the kid has finally started to talk. I didn’t think it was ever going to happen. But he’s actually stringing two words together! And when he’s not pointing and labeling exciting objects in the newfound world around him, Sebastian is just rabbiting on ad nauseam in his own little toddler gibberish. It’s really very cute. So, without further ado, I present you with this most astonishing update.

It’s that time of year again. Time for me to show you all how hip and with-it I am by posting my take on this year’s best new albums. You see, I like music. And I like lists. This just seemed like the next logical step.

But this isn’t this first time I’ve bestowed upon the masses such a grandiose public service as this. Oh no. This is the fifth year that I’m offering up my scientifically-calculated and deeply-meaningful homemade hierarchy. Don’t believe me? Check out past years: 2009, 2008, 2007, and 2006. It’s neat to go back and see how many of my previous “favorite” albums are still in my listening rotation. Quite a few, actually. So here’s 2010!

I haven’t heard as many new albums this year as I had in years past. Probably only a couple dozen. Blame my kids. But most of the ones that I have heard were pretty darn good. I can’t say any were as Earth-shattering as last year’s The XX or Animal Collective, but there were some definite gems. Which one was best? Wait for it… OK, here we go. No excuses. No explanations. Just my favorite albums from the past 12 months:
 

 
10. Robert Plant
Band of Joy

It’s marked by the fresh excitement of mapping out new territory rather than the more craven pleasure of wallowing in nostalgia: an object lesson in the value of not giving people what they want. [The Guardian]

9. The Tallest Man on Earth
The Wild Hunt

Matsson is both a romantic and a realist, and on The Wild Hunt, he uses the barest of pop-folk settings to give mundane moments a grandeur so disproportional that it’s difficult not to identify and sympathize with him. [Pitchfork]

8. The Dead Weather
Sea of Cowards

Their sophomore album (following up last year’s Horehound) cranks the mojo up to 11, splitting time between inferno-grade blues-rock and grooves so swampy they practically emit wavy stink lines. [Paste Magazine]

7. Gorillaz
Plastic Beach

Its real strength lies in the fact that it implores you to return for repeated visits to a world riddled with other people’s cast-offs. Ironically, it recycles nothing; everything here is box fresh. [musicOMH.com]

6. Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings
I Learned the Hard Way

Jones’s delivery, alternately muscular and tender, and the band’s total empathy with the genre’s rules elevate each tune to lost-classic status. [The Phoenix]

5. Eliza Doolittle
Eliza Doolittle

Punchy, mischievous and bouncing along with the kind of energy more commonly associated with children consuming too many vitamin pills. [Crud Magazine]

4. The Black Keys
Brothers

An album that works as both a blisteringly smart genre study that combines classic and contemporary perspectives on blues, soul, and R&B and as just one hell of a rock record, Brothers reaffirms that the Black Keys belong in any serious conversation about America’s finest bands. [Slant Magazine]

3. Vampire Weekend
Contra

The 10 songs here don’t collectively match the near-perfection displayed on the band’s debut, but Contra is varied and vivacious enough to make each spin as revelatory as the first time you realized what the band was getting away with and how well it pulled off the feat. [The Onion A.V. Club]

2. LCD Soundsystem
This Is Happening

Suffused with an indefinable sense of melancholy, the likes of ‘I Can Change’, ‘Home’ and ‘Dance Yrself Clean’ instil the rubbery electro with a tangible soul – whilst ‘Drunk Girls’ delivers a giddy hit of bony post-punk. [Clash Music]

1. Arcade Fire
The Suburbs

Whatever it is, The Suburbs is nothing short of extraordinary; it’s Arcade Fire’s moment of clarity where everyone can stop and take notice because in the most frank of terms, this is also nothing short of a masterpiece. [Delusions of Adequacy]

Honorable mention:
Kings of Leon – Come Around Sundown
The National – High Violet
Ray LaMontagne and the Pariah Dogs – God Willin’ & the Creek Don’t Rise
Ben Folds & Nick Hornby – Lonely Avenue
Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Rufus Wainwright – All Days Are Nights: Songs for Lulu

Do you have any favorites from this year that I may have missed? Leave me a comment and let me know!

We had a very nice Christmas here in England this year, beautifully set by a soft dusting of snow over the sleepy countryside. Emily was very much looking forward to making snowmen and having snowball fights, but there was never enough snow for any of that. We did get to skate on the frozen canal just in front of the house and we went for a brisk walk down the road to pet the horses in a nearby field. Sebastian enjoyed throwing snow, slipping on ice, trying to jump into the canal, and bopping the horses on the nose. We were never in the cold for very long thanks to the cozy warm homes here.

Christmas dinner (lunch) was a grand little affair here at the Clayton household with our little family feasting with Jan’s parents. Turkey, roast potatoes, sprouts, stuffing, carrots, sausages, apple sauce, and who-remembers-what-else. Christmas crackers and crowns and full full bellies. Then we headed down to Jan’s sister’s house for an afternoon of cartoons, pressies, and naps.

Emily was very excited about the arrival of Santa Claus. It was amazing how much she remembered about the whole process from the year before. She thoughtfully set out the mince pie and glass of Bailey’s by the chimney (yum yum), along with the bowl of carrots for the reindeer. We had to play the Santa card a few times this week to get her to eat her dinner but she finished every time and so knew that quality presents were certainly in store for her. And Santa delivered. Sebastian was enthralled by countless cars and trains as well as a plethora of new socks, all of which he insisted on trying on immediately. Emily was over the moon with dolls, a game of Connect Four, and arts and crafts projects of many shapes and sizes. But I think her favorite was a new Disney Fairy nightlight than can be also used as a flashlight. Jan got a Kindle (and socks and chocolates) and I got a new lens for my camera (and socks and chocolates). Score!

Connect Four

Today is Boxing Day and all is quiet. We’ll be calling in to Parki’s house in a bit before calling it an early one tonight. Tomorrow should see us heading to a local indoor play park for the kids before we fly home on Tuesday. I have to admit, as much as I love the quiet holidays with family, I’m really looking forward to being home again. With nothing to do. And no one to talk to. It’s been so long. And it won’t be long before work and school and life begin anew somewhere around the 10th of January. I hope you and yours had a happy and healthy holiday season.

Christmas Wave

A smartphone would be very little (a phone?) without its apps. There is a plethora of crazy apps out there for your device – from the super-useful to the brain-numbingly inane – but your internal storage is finite. Which ones should you take a chance on? Here is my current list of top Android apps and games. Enjoy!

Apps

10. Google Sky Map – Identifies celestial bodies based on your current location. Impress your friends by being able to tell the difference between Jupiter and Uranus.
9. Better Translator – Translates words or phrases into pretty much any language. Powered by either Google or Bing. Can even accept spoken input.
8. 3G Watchdog – Quietly keeps track of your monthly data usage.
7. openBicing – Keeps tabs on where all the bicycles are in Barcelona in real time. Faster than the official Bicing app. Prettier, too.
6. Contact Sender – How many times have you had to copy/paste a contact’s info into an SMS? No more! This should really be part of the standard Android Contacts app.
5. Quick Calendar – The only reason to install this is to improve upon the lame search capabilities of the standard Calendar app.
4. Silent Boot – Gets rid of that annoying (and loud!) Android start up sound.
3. Astro – Yes, I need a file manager on my phone. Thank you.
2. ShapeWriter – Just drag your finger across the keyboard from letter to letter to spell what you want. I wasn’t sure if I’d get used to this, but I type sooo much faster now.
1. RockPlayer – Best video player out there. Plays every AVI, DivX, XVid, MKV, and MP4 that I’ve thrown at it.

Games

18. Cribbage Pro – Nice version of the classic card game.
17. Shopper’s Paradise – It’s like tower defense… in a mall.
16. Graviturn – Tilt your phone to strategically get little rings to fall off the screen.
15. WordUp! – It’s Boggle.
14. Classic Simon – Very good mental exercise. I should play this more often.
13. Trap! – Reminiscent of Qix. Keep halving the screen without getting hit by increasing numbers of bouncing balls.
12. Jewels – Find lines of matching jewels in this popular solitaire puzzle game.
11. Teeter – Similar to the standard Labyrinth game but more industrial. Sleek.
10. Traffic Rush – You gotta have quick reflexes to send cars across the road without letting them crash into oncoming traffic. Go now!!
9. Flood-It! – A color-matching puzzle game that is harder than it looks.
8. Zilch – Press your luck or settle with what you’ve got in this dice game.
7. Spades – Nice version of the classic card game.
6. 2 Player Reactor – You gotta be quick to win! Great way to pass some time with a friend with fast reflexes. Can also be used as a nifty drinking game. If you pay for the app, you can get the four-player version.
5. Cestos2 – Online multiplayer marble madness. I’m hooked.
4. Everlands – A quirky combination of chess, Chinese checkers, Othello, and animals! I wish there was online multiplayer.
3. Angry Birds – The addictive godfather of all smartphone games will not let you sleep until you knock all those green pigs out with your boomerang birds. Free in the Android Market!
2. Bubble Defense 2 – I love tower defense games, and this is one of the best ones out there. I can’t wait till the next installment.
1. Age of Conquest – More than Risk but not quite Settlers of Catan, this is currently my #1.

For Emily (4 years old)

8. Classic Simon – Also good for kids.
7. Disney Princess Memory – A memory match game with all your favorite princesses. Yes, all of them.
6. Zebra Paint – It’s a coloring book with dozens of different drawings. Just touch to fill areas with color.
5. Kids Shape Puzzle – Simple jigsaw puzzles.
4. Angry Birds – Emily is surprisingly good at this now. And she loves smashing the pigs. They’re naughty.
3. Memory Master Kids – Another memory match game with larger setups.
2. Kids Connect the Dots – Connect the dots by following numbers or the alphabet to create cute shapes and drawings.
1. Trace Blast – Practice tracing letters, numbers, or shapes with your finger. A great way to learn how to write and/or draw. This is currently Emily’s #1.

For Sebastian (almost 2)

1. Toddler Lock – Create shapes and draw lines just by touching the screen. It locks the phone so he can’t call China. Also plays soothing little music as you draw. This is the only app I let him use.

So, do you have any favorite apps you think I may like? Lemme know!

Emily (4 years old) dutifully names all of the letter magnets on the fridge with the hope that a successful reading will net her a tasty foot-shaped ice cream. Mmmmm.

Emily vomited last Saturday night. Don’t know where that came from. But it was fast and she felt fine soon thereafter. Yay!

Marli didn’t feel too hot on Monday night. She had a bad case of the shivers but managed to go to sleep without losing her lunch. She waited until the next morning to vomit on her way to the airport. Boo!

It was probably around that time Tuesday that I was vomiting my guts up on the first leg of our Barcelona-Madrid-Miami flight. The second leg of the journey saw my second vomit session. Those airplane barf bags are surprisingly resilient. I was totally zonked out for most of the trip and wasn’t able to help with the kids very much (poor Jan) but the whole thing was out of my system in less than 24 hours, so yay!

My mom’s husband, Phil, vomited all day yesterday. But get this, this is the good part: while Phil was tossing his cookies quarantined in the bedroom, my mom was catering a Chanukah dinner for the entire family in the living room. Yup, 14 people eating latkes in the same house as warmed-over death. It doesn’t take Columbo to figure out where this one goes from here.

My Nana, with whom we’re staying, just forcefully upchucked for the second time this evening. Shit. And we hear another cousin may have been ravaged by the devil, as well. Our plan is to get the heck out of town as fast as humanly possible before Jan or Sebastian get zombified (Emily and I feel strangely immune, having already battled through this). But we also want to stick around to make sure Nana gets well soon. So we’re kinda stuck. Here’s hoping this is nothing more than the same 24-hour bug we’ve already suffered through. The good news is that we’re running out of family members to get sick! Why does it seem like someone (or various people) gets deathly sick every time we travel to either The States or to England? Why?

I am very happy with my HTC Desire. It does everything I want it to do (in addition to, you know, making calls). On it, I can check my email, update my online calendar, surf the Web, watch videos, listen to music, play games, take photos and record video, and a whole lot more. But I wasn’t able to do all these things on the fateful day that this beauty first arrived in the mail back in April. No, I had to set some things up first.

Boxed Desire

First and foremost, I had to sell my soul to Google. Struggling with this decision was one of the reasons it took me so long to hop on board the Smartphone Express. In the end, the decision wasn’t as evil as I had previously thought. I mean, Google is no Apple! Their operating system is open source (this is very important), it’s free, available on many different phones, and their motto is, “Don’t be evil,” for goodness’ sake. So I took the plunge and painstakingly migrated my online identity to Google. That meant moving all my Yahoo emails and contacts to Gmail (Google Apps). And then I had to move all my contacts and calendars from my Palm Pilot to Google, which again was no trivial task. And then I had to import all my Facebook contacts into Google. And then came the enjoyment of manually merging all multiple contacts. But when I was done, I had one master online repository that would stay synced with my phone at all times. Yay!

The screen on this puppy is gorgeous. Its 3.7-inch touchscreen is bright and beautiful. It makes videos, photos, games, and Web pages jump out at you. And it’s just the right size for watching TV shows while still small enough to fit in my pocket. Very pretty.

The Web browsing capabilities aren’t anything to write home about. Well, except for the fact that I can access the Web from anywhere! That’s pretty cool. But the experience itself isn’t quite there yet. Speeds are far from blinding and many pages just don’t look quite right on a pocket-size screen; but I never imagined that a hand-held device would rival my home box for Web surfing anyway. But hey, at least I’ve got built-in Flash support! I don’t really surf that often from my phone save the occasional Wikipedia, YouTube, or Facebook trip.

What I do use my phone for on a daily basis is a portable media player. I watch videos on my phone. Lots of videos. My favorite part of going into the office is the one-hour commute, during which I can catch up on my series. The Daily Show and comedies in the morning and dramas in the evening. The image, sound, and framerate of video playback are great and I never have to worry about converting my massive library of DivX or MKV files into some dumbed-down lossy(er) file format. Thank you, RockPlayer!

Unboxing My Desire

The Desire plays music – and I’ve got a bunch of music on it – but I don’t listen to music very often on my phone. If I’m traveling, I’m watching video. If I’m stationary, I’ll listen to music via the PC. The standard Android music player isn’t the best I’ve ever seen but it gets the job done.

The same goes for the camera: it simply gets the job done. No more, no less. The flash tends to bleach out most subjects and low-light photography is never an option with any camera phone. If I want to take a decent photo of something, I’ll use a real camera. If I don’t care about the quality, why am I really taking the picture in the first place? But if you’re not carrying a real camera, this phone will do. I do use the camera often to compare things before I buy them by taking quick snaps of all my options, like sneakers, bicycles, or snowboards.

Video recording is pretty good but the audio is flat. It can record at 720p, which is awesome, but then it lags a bit if you want to play it back on the phone.

The biggest surprise advantage of this phone over many other (non-Android) phones? It can serve as a Wi-Fi hotspot. This has come in handy on many occasions. I’m on holiday, lounging poolside with my laptop, I want to write a blog entry to make you all jealous, but there’s no open Wi-Fi? I just flip a switch on my phone and BAM, my phone is wirelessly feeding the interwebs to my phone. I’m in the dressing room of the theater and Joey wants to show us a raunchy music video on YouTube before we go on stage, but there’s no open Wi-Fi? BAM, we’ve got filth.

The one thing I would change about the HTC Desire (and pretty much every smartphone, for that matter) is the paltry battery life. If you’re using it as just a phone, you can get through the day (maybe two!) without a problem. But if you’re using any of the features that make the phone worth having in the first place, you’re gonna have to recharge it every day. Or, if you use it like I do, you might have to plug it in more than once a day. It’s an inconvenience, but by no means a deal breaker. And like I said, all phones are pretty much the same here.

And finally there are the apps. The meat on my phone’s bones. It is so nice to be able to choose from any app that I want. Any app there is a need for. Any app that someone wants to develop. Without worrying if some babysitting overlord will approve the app first. I’ve got a plethora of apps to both help make the most of my time and apps to help waste my time. Which ones are my favorites? I’ll have to write another entry to cover that.

Last week saw our final performances of Jo Marvel’s The Snapping Turtle’s Lament and I’m happy to say that we went out with a bang. The first week of performances didn’t receive very large audiences – some rumors blame audience dissatisfaction with the play that was presented in the theater the week before us – but our closing night was performed before a full house and, more importantly, I was very happy with the project as a whole.

This was a very special project. I had performed in original productions before. I had performed in plays written by friends before. I had performed in physical theater pieces before. I had performed in surreal – even absurd – shows before. But never before had I performed in an original production, written by a friend, that was so physical and so very surreal. Jo Marvel is a good friend of mine, but the inside of her mind is apparently a slippery, twisted, hilarious, and wondrous place, the depths of which I greatly admire and somewhat fear (but in a good way!). I am so glad I have had the chance to work with her and look forward to doing so again in the not-too-distant future.

And can you imagine traveling to a far off land, where you don’t speak the language, to stage manage an amateur theater production and not get paid? For three whole months? And while you’re there, be constantly followed around by an adoring little four-year-old, and get woken up regularly by an invasive little two-year-old? That’s a quarter of a year, people! That’s my amazing cousin Marli! Yes, it was great to have Marli here to help order our chaos. To structure our insanity. We needed it.

The play, on the page, confused the heck out of us actors. It took us a good month before we even kinda knew what was going on. It’s hard now to imagine what the audience must have gone through with us prancing around on stage, eating pasta, riding tigers, tripping on acid, bagging the cute, talking with turtles, and levitating out of our seats while spreading our 20 fingers. We knew exactly what we were doing!

And speaking of the other actors, I couldn’t have asked for a better group of misfits and rapscallions with whom to cavort. The whole rehearsal and performance process – which was very intimate to begin with – just felt so comfortable with these crazy kids. And Jo really amassed a motley crew. Stephanie is a comic genius, but had only ever been in one play before in her life (which I directed). Joey is a wise-ass and as sharp as a tack, but hadn’t been on stage since he played Annie (I think) in high school. And Therese is a seasoned actress with a good head on her shoulders, but hadn’t done any theater for over 10 years. How the hell did we pull this off? I don’t know, but we did. And it was good.

But now it’s over.

It’s hard to explain the strange feeling of emptiness one feels after having rehearsed a play with good friends for many moons, performing said play in front of numerous appreciative audiences, and then finding oneself with… nothing to do. The theater is so temporal, so ethereal. It’s a good thing I only had one day to dwell on this before I had to pack up the family and fly off to Florida for a little family vacation. And I’m already starting to plan the Jocular Theatre Spring ’11 season. An idle mind is the devil’s playground.

I wish I could post the photos from the show here for you all, but I don’t have them yet. You may have seen a few floating around on Facebook. I’m sure I’ll upload them them and post them here in the near future. You know, just like I still haven’t gotten around to uploading the photos from Lend Me A Tenor. I need an assistant.

Just a few more months till two. Woot!

Yogurt Asplosion
(1 year, 6 months)

Oh no, that means the terrible twos are just around the corner! Oh boy. Sebastian has been a delightful little devil this year. A rowdy little rugrat. A mischievous little menace. A rambunctious little rapscallion. I shudder to think what next year will bring.

Beach Bum
(1 year, 6 months)

We don’t have a baby anymore. Nope, Sebastian is a toddler in full effect though “toddling” hardly does justice to what this kid does. He may not be the most eloquent chap, but his physical prowess is well beyond anything even Emily had achieved at this age. It’s really a sight to behold. Here is a short list of a few of our favorite recent accomplishments:

• Sebastian has been loving the music class that he has been attending these past couple of months. Once a week he goes and sings and claps and dances to his favorite little ditties along with a small group of children his age. Well, that’s what he is supposed to be doing. In actuality, Sebastian is the first kid to break out of the music circle and rip through the pile of toys that have been strategically hidden (from him) around the room. He eventually finds his way back and dances for a bit, but never for very long. Those toys are just too alluring! Our son is a bad influence on the other children.
• You wanna see a forward roll? Sebastian will show you a forward roll! And not some crappy, out-of-control forward flop. No, he is in full control over his elegant forward rolls. They are a thing of beauty. And then he goes and jumps on his head.
• Here’s a big one: Sebastian has (finally) stopped breastfeeding! Emily chose to stop at 13 months but our little boy needed an intervention at 20 months. We cut down his feedings for a while, only giving him boobie-time before going to bed at the end, but he is now officially weaned. Now we just need to get him to sleep through the night. Ugh.
• I find the fabricated look of innocence on his conniving little face when he takes something he knows he’s not supposed to touch to be very funny. Funny, yet disconcerting. Our son is a thief. He’ll flash that innocent look, but he won’t even consider stopping what he’s doing. He won’t put down what he knows is not his. Your pleading or commanding just make him move a little bit slower. But he continues all the same. Until you physically get up to stop him – then he legs it in the opposite direction… while laughing at you!
• Yes, the boy is a fighter, but he’s also a lover. There’s no going to bed without first giving everyone a big kiss goodnight. There isn’t any lip smack at the point of contact, but there is a deliciously extended “mmmmmm” upon approach. He’s also very fond of meeting Emily after school with a big old hug. So snuggly. So lovely.
• Having a big sister to emulate has really driven Sebastian to become more of a daredevil than Emily ever was. Sure, Emily was jumping down two steps at a time when she was only two. But Sebastian is jumping down three steps and he’s only 21 months! They jump on the bed together and jump off the couch together and race around the garden together. It’s a beautiful thing. We sometimes fear for our lives.
• I can’t stand his shrieking any more! Learn to express yourself, godammit!
• Emily just got a new bicycle! A nice new blue bike that Sebastian will inherit one day. Emily could never really pedal the Big Wheel we had in the house before now, but she is pedaling like a pro on this new big bike. Oh, and so is Sebastian. That’s right, he climbs up onto Emily’s new bike and competently cycles around the house. It’s crazy.

You know, I say that Sebastian doesn’t talk very much or that he “isn’t eloquent,” but I’ve gotta give the kid credit where credit is due: he has effectively doubled his working vocabulary over the last few months. He’s not trying very hard to string more than one word together, but he’s building up a solid foundation. Here is the current state of verbal affairs:

So there you go! That’s our boy at 21 months. I want to write about 4000 more words about how great Sebastian is but, given that a picture is worth 1000 words, here are four photos instead.

Superseb
(1 year, 7 months)

Cosmo Caixa
(1 year, 7 months)

Zombie Child
(1 year, 8 months)

I’ve Been Working
(1 year, 8 months)

And finally, here’s a video for all you “moving picture” fans out there. Here, Sebastian (1 year, 8 months) enjoys a quiet afternoon spelunking.

Well, we just finished our last full rehearsal of The Snapping Turtle’s Lament before we open this Friday. I’m a little nervous since I haven’t been on stage for almost three years. But the group and the show are great. My text is (90%) memorized, my character is off the hook, my costume is green and complete, my turtle is sweet, I’ve almost got the scene changes figured out, and the entire cast is firing on all cylinders. It’s an absurd comedy involving puppets, food, music, the pursuit of money, and – if you behave – Teletubbies. It should be lots of fun. All that’s left is a dry tech on Wednesday and a full-fledged no-holds-barred technical rehearsal on Thursday. Oh yeah, and we need to put butts in seats. Come see the show!!

Can you tell which one is supposed to be me?