No sooner do we move into a new apartment than we begin demolishing everything we get our hands on. Not on purpose, mind you. Out of sheer klutziness. (oh my god, I can’t believe my spell checker didn’t red-flag the word ‘klutziness’)

The banging and denting of walls during the construction of choice IKEA furniture was certainly excusable, but when Jan smashed a plate and a glass while cleaning out our old flat, we knew we were in store for something greater than ourselves. Granted, a slight shift towards forgetfulness and clumsiness often accompany a woman through pregnancy, but Jan is apparently looking to break some records here. And I’ve heard of sympathy pains before, but “sympathy clumsiness” is a new one to me.

Next came yesterday morning when I was awoken by the sound of Jan getting the pitcher of water from the fridge. Well, it was more like the sound of Jan grasping the pitcher of water and using it to knock out the top shelf of the fridge which, at that time, was the home for a jar of mayonnaise, a jar of strawberry jam, and a glass filled with olives (and olive juice). I then heard the ensuing expletives, a brief pause for breathing, and the lovely sound of shards of glass being swept across our new parquet floors.

Not to be outdone, I precariously placed one of our pretty little ceramic blue bowls a little too close to the edge of the shelf. Things must have been rough for the poor bowl lately because it leaped – with no help from me – onto the counter below taking out an innocent glass of gazpacho in the process.

We must have a pretty clumsy ghost in the new apartment as well because neither Jan nor I will admit to being the cause of the bottle of fabric softener taking a swan dive off of the washing machine only to crack its lid and spill its sticky, flowery scented contents all over the floor of the washing room.

So there you have it. Be very careful when visiting us at our new home. It’s been a veritable klutzfest around here lately! (OK, my spell check wouldn’t let me get away with ‘klutzfest’)