Countless seemed the number of tasks that needed to be achieved before we were able to finally sleep under our new roof. But the proverbial light at the end of the relocating tunnel is now dawning and soon we will be in the promised land. I promise.

I needed to have a special bank account prepared containing the equivalent of six month’s rent which will be deviously held just out of my reach for the duration of our stay in this new apartment. The bank said they would have it ready for when we got back from New York (just in time to sign the contract for the flat). They didn’t have it ready in time. I shook my fist at them and they had it done the next day.

The landlord promised me that the flat would be freshly painted when we returned from New York. It wasn’t. So I called and asked them to please do it soon – preferably before we moved in. They said it would be done on Friday. It wasn’t. So I shook my fist at them and it was done first thing Monday morning.

I telephonically shook my fist at all of the utility services on Friday. The water and electricity were turned on immediately. The gas needs a new technical piece attached the big metal thingy which some guy is doing tomorrow – we should then have hot water.

My current telephone company told me that it would be impossible to transport my current phone number to the new flat. So I shook my mighty fist at them – and they turned tail and ran away. So I contacted a different telephone company. Our new telephone line – along with a new phone number, ADSL, and digital television – should be arriving within the next couple weeks.

Jan and I spent a total of seven and a half hours in IKEA this past week (plus the many hours spent strategically planning at home) selecting the furnishings that will adorn our humble abode. Everyone at IKEA was very friendly and helpful and all of our cool new stuff (along with a brand new washing machine) should be delivered tomorrow. I shook my fist at them just for good measure.

Yesterday, Jan and I signed up with a new gym just around the corner from our new place. After carefully studying all of the available offers on at the moment and reading all of the fine print on the membership contract, I managed to get away with paying only 4.50 euros instead of the normal 98 euros for registration and the first month’s fees. The man who signed us up said that I had paid less than any other new member he had ever signed up. I think he works on commission – he shook his fist at me.

Today, Too Tall Dutch Ed came over to the new place to help me remove the absolutely unnecessary porcelain wash basin taking up most of the room in the “washing room” so we could have a washing machine installed. I say he helped me but he actually did 97% of the work. He thought it would be a two minute job, but it took over an hour, four broken cutters, six sliced fingers, one complaining neighbor, and 37 whacks with Juls’ red-handled wrench to get the s.o.b. out of there. After the dust has cleared and Ed stopped shaking from physical exertion, he proceeded to shake his bloody fist at the the resulting mound of rubble. Ed’s a very good friend.

After saying goodbye to Ed, I prepared for the imminent arrival of our furniture by dusting, scrubbing, scraping, sweeping and mopping the entire flat. Five hours later, I was too tired to shake my fist at anything.

Now all we have to do is pack our current belongings into the boxes I procured from the local supermarket in preparation for Friday’s big move and we should be sleeping in a new bed, under a new roof, and in a new part of town this weekend.