Q: What’s new with emily?
A: Her fist. Her right fist.

Yes, Emily has finally recognized the existence of one of her many body parts. She has always taken the liberty of flailing all extremities with wanton abandon, but just recently she has noticed that she possesses the ability to make her right hand appear before her face in fist form.

But with great power comes great responsibility. Now that the hand is there, the next logical step, as we all know, is to stick the entire thing in her mouth. Easier said than done. This obscene mating ritual usually begins with a cross-eyed staring contest between Emily and the aforementioned fist. This can go on for upwards of three minutes. When neither of the mighty gladiators yield, one must be consumed. Emily’s mouth slowly opens and, with the unwavering concentration of a neurosurgeon, slowly and meticulously she draws the fist towards her face until she invariably punches herself either in the forehead or dead between the eyes. Sometimes in the eye. After five or six clumsy sucker punches, the sweet objective is finally reached and starship Fist successfully docks within galactic station Mouth. Then the licking begins.

Our little prize fighter