It’s 4:42am and I’m just catching up with Jan (and my) mate Garry’s blog before I go to bed when I hear the typical shuffling of feet coming down the hallway that can either mean that Jan has woken up from her slumber or the house has been taken over by zombies. I swivel on my chair to face the door of the office and wait for one of the living dead to turn the corner but instead Jan shuffles in.
Me: What are you doing up?
Jan: I had a bad dream.
Me: Oh no, what happened?
Jan: You were getting off with someone at a disco.
Me: Oh. I’m sorry.
Jan: Her name was Julie. Not Nash.
Me: Uh-huh.
Jan: All I could do to get you back was stick up my V’s.
Me: That’s not that bad.
Jan: I also called you a cunt. But I had to yell because the disco was very loud and I was walking uphill.
Me: Do you want me to come to bed?
Jan: No. I’m gonna go read.
And off she shuffled.
Whenever you write stuff that Jan says you get it so spot on I can hear and see her saying it!
Now hurry the baby along, we’re all excited too!
When anyone does me wrong, I’m totally hiring Jan to give them her V’s and call them a cunt.
I think you had the dream Josh. Jan would never use langauge like that!
I agree with Desmond – “I’m gonna go read” just isn’t Jan’s style.
Jan, I am always really mad at Ed when he does something like that in my dream. I hope you made Josh suffer for his infidelity.